I am wrapped up immensely with the idea of a dream. What makes a dream? What triggers a dream? What is the difference between a dream & a nightmare? How can you have a “dream”, which is just merely an aspiration? While you can have a dream while you are sleeping, but what really is sleeping?
I am sleep walking through life.
I honestly am. I am always indignant about the fact that I am always sleeping, but I seem to lack the motivation. The drive, the will power for change.
Change is hard; making the initiative to change oneself is admirable. Its is the quality I personally lack the most and desire as well. I have skills, but the tools are useless without the drive to make the idea, the dream happen. I am just stuck. And therefore I am asleep.
Lifeless
Thoughtless
I may be right, or do I know I am right? What makes me wrong and what makes me right? It confuses me, I am too young or too naïve. I disgust myself, I walk through actions. I make lists, without crossing them off. I have not done anything that makes me proud. I am not proud of anything I have done. The things I do with excellence are done after hours of complaining and perseverance from my parents. I am not independent.
I wish I was
But I am too asleep to change, as I am still dreaming.
Today I was supposed to do many tasks. Instead I did nothing productive, for over 12 hours I actually did nothing. I always do nothing, I never actually finish things.
My worst quality
Or is it a quality brought from dreaming?
Would that make dreaming a quality?
Who knows?
I sure do not.
Lovely
